One phrase which represents the life and tragedy of every Pakistani is ‘log kya kahein gey’. This four word statement has had a stronger impact on most of our lives than that of the political turmoil and 4 martial laws in our country. From childhood, all of us are taught at home, school, in fact by society as a whole, to consider what other people will think of us. Be it our appearance, our achievements, our lifestyle, or our friendships. A materialistic attentiveness takes over our practical and true self, whose main objective in life is to please and be the envy of others.
As a Pakistani child, our brain is programmed to always think of the opinion others have regarding us. This gradually becomes less of a voluntary act, and more of a reflex action, or a necessity. With time, majority of the things we do in life begin to revolve around what other people will think or say. As we begin our own lives as adults, the fear and approach of ‘log kya kahein gey’ becomes deeply ingrained in our entire being. So is the vicious cycle which would forever govern your life.
One day then, you start a family of your own. There’s a little human being whose life is to be shaped by you and your SO. As that tiny tot grows, you realize that every word you say, every action you carry out will define his personality. You try to do away with your bad habits and negative vibes, such as bad language, pessimism, etc. However, even at this point, you forget to throw out the ‘log kya kahein gey’ mindset. As your child grows, he learns the best of manners, etiquette, culture, tradition, faith, etc., but he also becomes trapped with money-oriented values and people-pleasing disposition.
As a parent, there is a constant worry on your head of how your child will turn out in life, what their future beholds, and also, ‘log kya kahein gey’. You scrutinize everything from your child’s grades, to their friends, approving or disapproving according to the standards and norms set by society. When your son comes home with a bad test result, the more vexing issue at hand is not of your child’s education, but of what your neighbor whose son got 98% will say. When your daughter wishes to sleepover at a friend’s house for her birthday, the deciding factor for you is what will people say when they find out that a young girl was at someone else’s house the whole night.
Slowly, you proceed to impose the same choices and views upon your child which were thrust upon you in your early years, and teach them the basics of superficiality and small-mindedness. You buy them impractical, expensive products, teaching them to look for brand names which impress their friends rather than pragmatism. You teach them to suppress their individuality and conform to the stereotypes approved by society, killing their uniqueness. With time, you re-create the same tragedy which you went through as a child and create another dysfunctional human being whose sole purpose in life is to worry about ‘log kya kahein gey’.
This way, you not only ruin your child’s personality, but also add another conformist robot to society. Rather than focusing on comparing your child, or his wants and dreams with others, teach him to be his own competition. Instead of training him to choose expensive branded clothes, make him work on personal development and self improvement. Forget about what people say as their main job is to criticize and take down others. Let your child break free from the societal norms and negativity and become a strong, independent adult who is able to walk their own path.
What is it like to have a child in your life? Is it sleepless nights, draining bank accounts and compromising work or is it one of the most amazing experiences? Defining what it is like to have children in your life is never easy. It is a rollercoaster of emotions, responsibilities and happiness. The eccentric feeling of being parents is not when you hold your child in your arms for the first time but it begins with a doctor announcing that a little bundle of joy is nurturing inside the woman’s womb. How blessed a couple will feel!
The idea of having a child sends parents in a world of tranquility. They spend days and nights thinking about the one about to enter their life. They begin with choosing a name –which doesn’t end at least till the delivery is due –and went on and on about what will be the first word of their child, how will their first birthday be celebrated, which school will he go to, and the list goes on. Parents and grandparents spend hours in shopping for the little bundle of joy. A nursery is renovated, a cradle is placed in the middle of the room, a wall is painted, and a closet is set. All wait for the time to fly and the entrance of a little angel in their life.
The day arrives when finally you take your child in your arms. Their soft cries are like romantic ballads to ears.Having a child make you forget about all your worries. There’s nothing in the world as magical as the warmth of a child’s body. There’s nothing in the world as comforting as the smile of your little baby. There’s no gift as precious as a child –a Nature’s way of telling you how blessed you are.
Having a child completely transforms you. You are no longer a shy person. You are courageous. There’s nothing in this world you wouldn’t face in order to keep your child happy and smiling. Childbirth turns a couple stronger. Life difficulties and hardships dissipate when you know that your hard work is for the good of your child. Children are the biggest blessing for every couple. They are the coolness of their parents’ eyes. They are a wave of freshness and joy. The love shared by parents and children wipe away all fears of having a child. Responsibilities become manageable when you are greeted with your children’s happy faces.
A child brings sense of purpose to your life. It tells you how and where your time should be spent. It helps you in setting priorities in life. Children bring immense amount of joy and laughter in your life. Their innocence helps you to fight the monsters within yourself. Granted you will have few bad days. There will be a time when you will be drowning under a heap of responsibilities. Maybe, it will seem like you cannot manage anything at all. However, one fine look at your baby will wipe away all your worries.
After each day at the end, life boils down to all your experiences. You are supposed to have good experiences and you’ll also have some bad experiences but you are a culmination of the things you’ve done and learned – the outcome is always a result of everything combined that you have had to go through. That refers to the fact it is always very important and crucial to keep those memories around so you can enjoy them. Would you rather stay in the moment, live it to its fullest or would you rather want the memories to remain intact as well so when tomorrow, you look at them, you end up smiling? The answer is usually both of them. But keeping all the memories together is a hassle. The human brain is a wonderful creation but it is a bit faulty in remembering every minute detail and event. However, with the advancement of technology it has become easy to track record of all the memories made with the right tools and habits.
What are the best ways to keep memories? How can we save them all without a lot of hassle and enjoy them later?
Let’s take a look at some of the proposed ideas in this regard.
You don’t need to be a super creative photographer or you must not own a fancy DSLR in order to capture photos and freeze the moments. Just a sharp instinct and a decent camera – and you are there, start clicking and keep saving your precious memories.
As they say, ‘A snapshot keeps a good moment from running away.’
People go all sorts of crazy in order to show their creativity. You can get your kids a crayon box and a drawing book – the two will help them draw it all and you can keep them safe. You can make them write their favorite memories on wall-hangings, charts, cards or even dinner plates. These ideas might sound funny but when done with interest can help one collect a stash of fun memories that can be called as art as well.
This is a fun idea and you’ll have decoration pieces by the end as well. If you go camping or just go for some fun party at the beach; start collecting whatever is available there, from seashells to pine needles and pine cones – collect them all, put them in jars with other cute items including a family picture and you have all your memories saved in one place that can serve as a nice center piece on your table as well.
Today is the era of technology and we like to have everything easy, saved at a single spot. A website sounds the best idea where you can put up your pictures and write your journeys in the fanciest ways.
Nothing feels better than inked words – write them away in journals and keep the memories save.
Having a record of all the memories is a hassle but the above mentioned ideas will help you manage the entire pile effectively.
Remember when the old granny told us that talk the way you want your kid to talk and walk the way you want your kid to walk. Yes, this absolutely is true.
Children start to perceive things much earlier than you really have an idea about. A study reveals that whatever a seven months pregnant lady listens up to is in the subconscious of the child. That is why we are often told to be careful about the things we enjoy and admire. A child has a blank mind; whatever picture you draw on it would be seen by the world.
In recent past, a child was diagnosed by a psychological issue at a very young age and that turned the matter into the fact that his parents used to fight a lot when he was only six months. This interprets that a six months old comprehends its surroundings way more than we assume. It is also important to state that growing up is a state of mind. More than it comes from experience, it comes from what state of mind you possess. When children go through stuff that makes them shake up their memories and lives, it impacts them in one way or the other.
All of the perceptions do not regard the negativities around only; many a times there is a significant sense in children about passion and love at a very early age. Whatever the like in particular gets obvious by their mood.
Quick question about this will help you understand this concept better: how does your child answers to who loves him more, you or your partner? Your child has his own parameters to judge love and that too without telling. He has a way smarter perspective than you think he has. This is the best example of what we are talking. It is the sense of understanding and care that lets the child believe who loves him more. You can never be sure what affects your child the most, though.
Children without knowing the use of watches or clocks, have a time for everything. There is a certain time they well ask for food, they have a particular time for when to start crying at night or when to sleep in the noon. They work through a time mechanistic program and this all happens even when they don’t even talk.
It is also believed that the psychology of parents gets transferred too in the child. For example, if a child has a mother who is depressed, after sometime the child would start being depressed in his own way. Children start sensing the emotions even if the words are not exchanged. Just like cats, children too sense emotions through eyes. You think you can fake it but you cannot. Their perceiving game is real and strong.
At an early age, the child start to understand the roles each family member possesses and this is when his primary socialization starts.
There is a moment in your life when you just want to settle in your life with someone special; you want to spend the whole of your lives with them and to never let them go; the time when you just wonder how lucky you are to be with the love you never met before and that you want to have kids with your love. That is the grounding and most cherishing moment of one’s life when one is ready to bore children with one’s better half. When you are done with the over whelming, you would start thinking about how your life would change when the newbie comes. Yes you would have to change entirely and in the best way because your kid deserves that.
The very feeling of the child coming is what happiness is like and the sight of the child for the first time is what its personification possibly could be. These 9 months of your life and your partner’s life would be the most beautiful and lovable. You take care of each other out of love for the two of you and the third incoming. It gets cuter when the dads to be are all lovey dovey over whatever mood swings mother of the child goes through.
The minute you and your better half have been sitting tight nine months for has at long last arrived and this is what your mind would picture for all the years of your life. Your child is a push away and your heart pumps too fast for the emotions you have for the child before he/she sees the world. Your child becomes your first priority and nothing must hinder you in that time. The pretty moment just came in and the child is out and all for you there. At that point in time you just see the child, there is nothing better than only seeing the child for moments and the priceless sight…Aaaahhh you couldn’t even blink for few instances.
When the nurse hands you over with your child, the feeling is unexplainable and abstract. You would feel that you just dived into some other dimension where nothing is dark and everything is gold and silver. The time in your life when you have a life in your hand and that is when you know that YES THAT IS WHAT I WANT TO DO FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. You just know that taking your child’s care is what your life is now for.
For whatever reasons, never prioritize things that don’t matter when it comes to your child. In case you’re a first time father, you have to set aside a few minutes for the new little individual in your life. With your occupied, pre-baby plan, it is anything but difficult to neglect to set aside a few minutes with your little one when he/she arrives.
To bond well with your baby, touch is the first step. Be senseless with baby. Babies love senseless countenances and senseless sounds. Senseless faces for the most part prompt grins and, in case you’re fortunate, even a snicker from baby. They likewise cherish senseless commotions as well. Being senseless is an extraordinary approach to bond with your little one.