What is it like to have a child in your life? Is it sleepless nights, draining bank accounts and compromising work or is it one of the most amazing experiences? Defining what it is like to have children in your life is never easy. It is a rollercoaster of emotions, responsibilities and happiness. The eccentric feeling of being parents is not when you hold your child in your arms for the first time but it begins with a doctor announcing that a little bundle of joy is nurturing inside the woman’s womb. How blessed a couple will feel!
The idea of having a child sends parents in a world of tranquility. They spend days and nights thinking about the one about to enter their life. They begin with choosing a name –which doesn’t end at least till the delivery is due –and went on and on about what will be the first word of their child, how will their first birthday be celebrated, which school will he go to, and the list goes on. Parents and grandparents spend hours in shopping for the little bundle of joy. A nursery is renovated, a cradle is placed in the middle of the room, a wall is painted, and a closet is set. All wait for the time to fly and the entrance of a little angel in their life.
The day arrives when finally you take your child in your arms. Their soft cries are like romantic ballads to ears.Having a child make you forget about all your worries. There’s nothing in the world as magical as the warmth of a child’s body. There’s nothing in the world as comforting as the smile of your little baby. There’s no gift as precious as a child –a Nature’s way of telling you how blessed you are.
Having a child completely transforms you. You are no longer a shy person. You are courageous. There’s nothing in this world you wouldn’t face in order to keep your child happy and smiling. Childbirth turns a couple stronger. Life difficulties and hardships dissipate when you know that your hard work is for the good of your child. Children are the biggest blessing for every couple. They are the coolness of their parents’ eyes. They are a wave of freshness and joy. The love shared by parents and children wipe away all fears of having a child. Responsibilities become manageable when you are greeted with your children’s happy faces.
A child brings sense of purpose to your life. It tells you how and where your time should be spent. It helps you in setting priorities in life. Children bring immense amount of joy and laughter in your life. Their innocence helps you to fight the monsters within yourself. Granted you will have few bad days. There will be a time when you will be drowning under a heap of responsibilities. Maybe, it will seem like you cannot manage anything at all. However, one fine look at your baby will wipe away all your worries.
A father’s love contribute as much as a mother’s love in developing the lives of their children. Research conducted in this field shows that the power of parental rejection and acceptance is quite strong in shaping our personalities as children and into adulthood.
Rohner and co-author Abdul Khaleque found that in response to rejection by their fathers, children tend to feel more anxious and insecure, as well as more hostile and aggressive toward others.
When it comes to the impact of a father’s love versus that of a mother, results from more than 500 studies suggest that while children and adults often experience more or less the same level of acceptance or rejection from each parent, the influence of father’s rejection can be much greater than the mother’s.
Father’s love is critical to a person’s development. Here are some of the reasons why fathers should spend more time with their kids.
According to academics at the University of Newcastle, regardless of your own intelligence, just being involved in your child’s life will result in them being smarter and more prosperous. Father’s involvement in child’s development benefits in terms of skills and abilities that endure throughout adult life. A study in 2008 looked at more than 11,000 British fifty year-olds, and found that those whose fathers had been heavily involved in their childhoods had higher IQ scores.
A study conducted by academics at Pennsylvania State University in 2012 followed the fortunes of 200 families, finding that children with involved fathers “may develop higher general self-worth because their fathers go beyond social expectations to devote undivided attention to them.”The more time a child spends with the fathers, both alone and as part of a group, the greater confidence they grow up with.
The closer the relationship fathers have with their children, the greater is thepossibility that the children will have high self-respect and self-acceptance. Less involved fathers facilitate the opposite reactions. For example, in a recent article published in American Psychologist, Dr. Louise Silverstein writes: “Research clearly documents the direct correlation between father absence and higher rates of aggressive behavior in sons, sexually precocious behavior in daughters, and more rigid sex stereotypes in children of both sexes.”
Children who have an involved father are more likely to be emotionally secure, be confident to explore their surroundings, and, as they grow older, have better social connections with peers. These children also are less likely to get in trouble at home, school, or in the neighborhood.
The more time you spend with your children, the more realistically you will be able to assess their capacities and the more aware you will be of their particular talents and sensibilities. You will, therefore, have the optimal opportunity to provide challenging and stimulating interactions. You will discover not only what they enjoy doing, but how they enjoy doing it.
After each day at the end, life boils down to all your experiences. You are supposed to have good experiences and you’ll also have some bad experiences but you are a culmination of the things you’ve done and learned – the outcome is always a result of everything combined that you have had to go through. That refers to the fact it is always very important and crucial to keep those memories around so you can enjoy them. Would you rather stay in the moment, live it to its fullest or would you rather want the memories to remain intact as well so when tomorrow, you look at them, you end up smiling? The answer is usually both of them. But keeping all the memories together is a hassle. The human brain is a wonderful creation but it is a bit faulty in remembering every minute detail and event. However, with the advancement of technology it has become easy to track record of all the memories made with the right tools and habits.
What are the best ways to keep memories? How can we save them all without a lot of hassle and enjoy them later?
Let’s take a look at some of the proposed ideas in this regard.
You don’t need to be a super creative photographer or you must not own a fancy DSLR in order to capture photos and freeze the moments. Just a sharp instinct and a decent camera – and you are there, start clicking and keep saving your precious memories.
As they say, ‘A snapshot keeps a good moment from running away.’
People go all sorts of crazy in order to show their creativity. You can get your kids a crayon box and a drawing book – the two will help them draw it all and you can keep them safe. You can make them write their favorite memories on wall-hangings, charts, cards or even dinner plates. These ideas might sound funny but when done with interest can help one collect a stash of fun memories that can be called as art as well.
This is a fun idea and you’ll have decoration pieces by the end as well. If you go camping or just go for some fun party at the beach; start collecting whatever is available there, from seashells to pine needles and pine cones – collect them all, put them in jars with other cute items including a family picture and you have all your memories saved in one place that can serve as a nice center piece on your table as well.
Today is the era of technology and we like to have everything easy, saved at a single spot. A website sounds the best idea where you can put up your pictures and write your journeys in the fanciest ways.
Nothing feels better than inked words – write them away in journals and keep the memories save.
Having a record of all the memories is a hassle but the above mentioned ideas will help you manage the entire pile effectively.
In this age of technology, capturing picture has become easier than ever before. Most of us have smart phones which have brilliant quality built in cameras which help us attain fine pictures of our children. But what do we do when our SD cards or IOS memory fills up?
Storage is a lot of trouble especially in Apple’s iPhone. When this hour strikes we start selecting the “less” important pictures in a frenzy to capture the current moments which seem more important at that time. This is what I did as well.
After the birth of my child, I would make tons of videos of him to show them to my husband, who complained about missing our child’s precious moments due to work. On the 2nd of October, he had his first recital at play school. His care taker, also known as “aunty”, made him a star costume and he was cued to recite ‘Twinkle Twinkle little star’. I had prepared him well but due to last minute frenzy I forgot my digital camera at home. When he appeared on stage, I started looking for my camera which was nowhere to be found. So I switched to my iPhone and tapped on the camera icon. But to my surprise, a message popped in on my screen “storage unavailable”. In great panic I started deleting all the existing photos and videos and managed capture his recital.
But to my dismay, when I reached home and went over my gallery I had accidently deleted the pictures from his first day of school, his Eid pictures and some birthday pictures as well. This left me heartbroken and the mommy guilt set in. If only I had remembered to clear the gallery and transfer all the images on Google drive or my Facebook account this would have never happened.
My story is a lesson for both Mums and Dads. When we have a child the excitement and frenzy is immense, we want to spend every single moment with our new bundle of joy, watching there every single move but nature has its own plans. Our children are growing up and they grow fast. One day they are learning how to crawl and the next day they are walking and soon they are off to school. It is only natural to save our child’s memories for the future, for them to see when they grow up, for their wedding days, for our grandchildren to see and for the days when we will get old.
In this age of time everything has a solution. I found Kidlr lately which has proved to be my diary. Kidlr is an app which can be downloaded on our smart phones; it helps save pictures and videos by uploading them on Kidlr. You can also share your media with your friends and family whom you add in your account.
Kidlr also serves as a reminder for your child’s upcoming doctor’s appointments, vaccination appointments and also allows you to mark your child’s milestones; be it the day he took his first step or the day he goes to school, Kidlr will help you document all important dates.
Often when parents are asked about why they save their kids’ memories, the replies are all pretty much the same. Some like being nostalgic and save those things to actually save the memories. In answer to this question my aunt said, “So that when I’m not near them I still have the privilege to relive the moments spent with them.”
There is always an underlying theory and principle behind what we choose to do. These underlying theories and principles somehow define us. Therefore, there are variable reasons behind why parents keep their kids’ memories safe depending from individual to individual.
As social animals and as packages of emotions and physics, we depend upon each other. Our survival has depended upon these connections from the beginning of time. The urge of survival triggers the emotional set up, ultimately forming families and dependence. When we become a parent for the first time, we own our child and care for him/her for the same reason. The emotional link develops and it remains there. Parents know that their children will leave them and move on to form their own families someday, and this gives them the insecurity that the connection they invested so many of their emotions into will one day be lost. They then save their connections in the form of memories, so that whenever there are bad times, those memories help them relax and their future then seems easier to them.
Becoming a parent is more than just a routine change that occurs in a person’s life. Parenting is an entirely new chapter, a new phase, a new beginning of a new type of experience where a lot of past facts and figures do not apply any longer. The smallest of the things begin to have such strong impacts that one might not have anticipated beforehand e.g. early in parenthood the little adorable clothes become so dear to us and then in no time our kids grow out of them. What actually happens is that our life suddenly starts going at the growth rate of our babies. Our brain does not get enough time to contemplate upon what makes us happy and comprehend why suddenly all these things seem so fascinating. We then keep moving on and staying in the present. The baby grows into a toddler and then in no time, the toddler starts walking and then he/she also starts talking. Soon little tantrums start kicking in and we begin to witness all sorts of things that we might not have even considered before being a parent. We do not get our fill of the past and we realize that from the very beginning, so we make efforts to save all the little things we can.
As it is apparent, these saved memories are not just apparatus for nostalgia. They may hold bigger things like support, sense of security, happiness, strength, even sorrows; depending upon individual to individual, helping us define ourselves.
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